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About Me I'm a 18 year old photography student with too much fantasy to fit into her head. I read too many books and write too much lists. |
♡ three. I don't have enough life experience to make assumptions about love, about what it means and what it does to us. I'm nearly 18 years old and I've been in love for more than 3 and a half years, does that mean I may have a little more experience than the a normal teenager? Although I may not know everything about love: It's wonderful, when I first saw him my head was spinning and my heart was pounding in my chest. I felt like I was born again, new, shining and loved. But everything changed, the lies came, the excuses came and every time I looked at him I felt so much hate. Love is complicated and it sucks. And there is nothing in the world to make it unsuck the air out of your lungs. There is nothing in this fucked up world that makes me think there is any reason to fall in love again. Thinking about it makes me dizzy. I still find myself listening to our songs, memorizing the moments shared listening to it. You're still my wonderwall. I keep thinking about you, keep falling back in the pattern of letting you know that I miss you and that I want to spend the night with you by my side, I keep screwing up the only chance of letting you go. People say that I do it because I'm still in love with you, and I know that's true. You where my first love, the reason I'm still on this earth, without you I would've given up a long, long time ago. How can I let my savior go? My heart was broken and no matter how much I rubbed it, the aching feeling didn't go away. It felt like my heart was ripped from my chest and everyday people kept salting my wounds. My problem is this house, everything in this house reminds me of you. You held me in my bed, woke me up from the nightmares. We cuddled on the couch, held hands everywhere. We kissed in the grass and drank tea with honey. Your smell is on my bed and on my clothes. Everywhere I look I can see a place where we shared a special moment and made a memory. I want to leave, leave this country and try to find a spot on this earth where I can forget everything that has to do with love. Written With Love; 14:44 Saturday, 10 April 2010 |